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Motherhood...

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Woke up quite early today and stumbled upon on a Facebook page, My Child Mean Everything To Me . Brought me to tears scrolling through the pictures they have posted. Indeed, nothing compares to motherhood... from the moment you felt that little bump in your tummy, it was joy, excitement and yes, worry. I remembered that night I knew I was pregnant. I was unprepared, I had a lot of plans (yup, that's me, the great planner!), but... I got pregnant. And it was the most excruciating pain I felt. I have always wanted to be a mother, but not that time. And I did not want my baby to feel that. After a while, and a talk with my mother. I felt better and got more excited each day. I prayed just like any mother would, for complete set of fingers and toes, a whole body, no diseases. Everyday that was my prayer, and every day I waited for that moment my xiao jih will come out. Being a mother is not a choice, it is our fate, our destiny, it is God's choice. Some women don't get to be ...
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a cold and rainy morning...

i thought i woke up earlier today...but it was just the presence of the dark clouds that made it looked 3am...and for the nth time..i was late...i really hope i can't be late anymore..but i can't wake up early..and i can't get a ride in the span of 5 minutes...ugh! yetserday night before goping to sleep...i texted the parker (smart users..thnx to the unlimited)....i told them m not feeling well..and that i have not been feeling well for the past 4 years...yes...4 years..m not sick or what...i just feel unwell..empty..and i know why...and maybe some of u know why...yes m happy...happiness is a choice..and i chose to be happy all these years..despite the hardships..the struggles..the pain...but happiness...is nothing compared to joy...having peace...having faith..that everything is okay...yes, a lot has changed...i have faith in the LORD..but...maybe...i lose sight of my own track..that i started doubting Him...well not really Him, but the world, myself...many things have rea...
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Back to Blog

Yeah, I know it's been  a few months after my last entry. But a lot of things happened... Or was I just too lazy to post. Well, anyways, last June I temporarily closed my online shops and pages. Last June, we moved to a new home. And last June I was a plain housewifey. Nonetheless, it was a wonderful hiatus. The kids went to Day Care/Kindergarten and I was acting like a stage mother for a few months and yep until now. But boredom got into me and so are the additional kilos and laziness just sucked the life out of me. Sleep, eat, watch movies and Korean series, take care of the kids, doing household chores: the basics of stay at home moms. Never did I thought it would be too exhausting, not physically but mentally, since most of the time, you're thinking of how to manage cost, what to eat at lunch or dinner or have for breakfast, what to do next, thus; you end up staring at the ceiling for a few minutes... The possibilities of losing your mind are endless. But thanks thee to God...
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